Yes i am BAD..

the other day somebody told me that my general image is BAD .. hmmm... dis really made me think.. BAD and me.. never heard of it..
ya ya now i remember i am Selfish and rude.. yes yes.. true.. in fact i am BAD !!!

Why ??? is it that i am mocking at that person.. no no.. i am absolutely serious.. i dont pay heed to how some overemotional people keep crying to their problems of which only they can find solutions.. and with their solutions in front of them the only thing which is absent is their confidence to implement them.. now how can i be a gadget of just listening to them endlessly and not commenting on their (selfmade) condition... and finally if at all i get the courage to COMMENT.. yes yes i am bad !!! how can i not empathize and be blunt in telling them to PERFORM and not CRY.. ooops.. guess dis is what BAD people do..
Now again coming back to what people think of me.. hmm how else can i be BAD.. well yes i also dont allow people to be perversive with me.. i am what i am .. i cant change myself for anything but my own life.. i only change when life demands it.. else me and my nature go straight its way.. not looking around and no looking back.. hmm.. but how is it named stubbornness by a few people.. who want me to change just because they get content with it... and with one "SORRY BOSS" statement.. i am labeled as BAD.. GUD ENUFF.. aint it ???
Also, i remember.. one day i was tagged as BAD when i declared that i have a huge social circle.. hmm.. dass actually bad.. because NORMAL people only have a limited circle.. hmm.. so simply means that i am ABNORMALLY bad.. because having friends and meeting them often is BAD.. very very BAD.. and most probably all these people who i meet around are also abnormal and bad.. dat is the only probability why have we been able to maintain our bond.. and yes I am mostly SELFISH also.. dat is how I have been able to maintain them all.. (thinking hard on it now)

well i am actually looking for more reasons why am i BAD.. in front of other people.. well does this matter at all.. ummm.. i dont think so.. yes if this happens that one day i wake up and i go and see the mirror and then it states that YOU ARE BAD !! Probably that will be one day when i will actually go and ask people WHY AM I BAD ???

at times I also wonder that being fit or misfit in peoples definitions – is it important or is it more important to make ur own statements.. I wonder how can I live my life by just being truly fit into the definition of what people have decided upon.. how can I let others judge me and let me know my worth.. umm sounds a bit intricate for me..
I remember people talking about INDEPENDENCE.. but then how dis definition of independence turns into acts that they start calling selfish I really wanna know.. how can people change their thots soo often and labeling you to be changed..

Hmm really makes my BAD mind churn and think what is my definition of other people being gud or bad.. hmm.. I am waiting for sumthing to appear on the screen with inverted commas on but lo.. the screen is blank.. I cant see nething.. why.. guess I did put sumthing in there so that I can also judge people on my standards.. but when.. ummmm not very old though.. but still not very fresh too.. not in recent times.. guess I have been totally accepting people as they are.. I never bounded them on my definitions and expectations.. and hence I was once again labeled of being numb..
Well now, after soo much brain storming I could find that dis just dosent affect me what people think of me.. because may be I don’t think what people are actually.. so dis is one thing that keeps me BAD in everyones eyes..

oh oh.. is it making a mark again ???

Motherhood..

People say that motherhood is completely unbiased.. but i saw dat today.. and i must say... i am deeply moved too..
i was driving thru this street and i saw a bitch running with a car and barking at the highest of its pitch.. i took it like another road side dog and juzz tried saving my car from it.. but i was stunned to see why she did that.. the car had killed one of its pups.. she kept barking there and was trying to stop each and every vehicle passer by.. every body juzz took a look and went off..
she went to her baby once which was lying dead on the road and then again started barking at the passer bys for help.. HELP !! my baby is dying.. alas.. i was also one of the rude people who juzz took a look and passed..
i shud have stopped there and have had helped it.. but i didnt.. and dis is one thing which is hitting me hard on my mind now.. I SHUD HAVE HELPED HER in atleast removing the dead body from there.. i know though that i am not capable of bringing her dead kid back..
and all i can do is.. sit and think.. think it hard.. for evey mother the feeling is same.. no mother can stand the death of her baby.. people looked at her as if she is a mad dog.. and yes.. she was mad.. mad out of fury, out of her love for her child.. i wish.. i was able to help her..

what people will say..

i wonder at times that people react just for the sake of reacting things.. even if deep down in their hearts they would feel sumthing else, they wud react in a manner which is only ACCEPTABLE by the society.. but i wonder why ??? after all its we people who have created the society not any one else.. why do we have to bother soo much about SOCIETY..
always since my childhood i have been listening this from my family, my frnz family or any other individual "LOG KYA KAHENGE.."
i really dont know who are these LOG ?? its you who give any body the right to say anything to yourself.. if you know you are right then why do you have to bother about what people say to you.. why ??? why do we always have to care about people around us ???
i dont really understand what happens when the same person in captured in sum odd situation and his thots changes juzz in a fraction of second..
people always react differently to others and absolutely biased for themselves.. then why do we have to bother about their thots.. they will always think what dey want..

so here i am.. taking this precious lesson.. i do what i like.. if sumone will like me.. he/ she will accept me.. if they dont.. then i dont mind.. but i will always accept u as u are.. never want anyone to change.. because the basic nature never changes.. and whatever is natural is beautiful..

Single dosent mean Availiable

The other day while chatting with a friend, I saw her status message.. it said SINGLE DOSENT MEANS AVAILABLE.. it really influenced my thots but i never thot that i would some day feel it.. but today I did..

I mean dis was the most hurting part that it was done by a close friend.. I never expected him to be saying such things to me.. I trusted him completely after our comfortable relationship of an year.. but at the end.. I cant change his thots.. or the ways he thinks for all the females…

I don’t really know when people will let development into their mindsets.. however we pose to be developed and urban and all that.. but people forget juzz one thot.. DEVELOPMENT IS ON THE MIND.. Earning MONEY dose not mean earning MANNERS..

However, the incident is over now.. but it has left a great impact on me.. I have lost a so called friend.. I wonder now.. and I remember now.. when my mother taught me in the beginning – BE YOUR OWN PROTECTOR .. also.. I wont forget her one more teaching.. which has governed me all my life.. “Whatever happens is for your good… you juzz need to see it..”
I am seeing it..

Reasons not to quit...

One day I decided to quit...I quit my job, my relationship, my spirituality... I wanted to quit my life.I went to the woods to have one last talk with God.'God', I said. 'Can you give me one good reason not to quit?'His answer surprised me...'Look around', He said. 'Do you see the fern and the bamboo?''Yes', I replied.When I planted the fern and the bamboo seeds, I took very good care of them.I gave them light. I gave them water.The fern quickly grew from the earth.Its brilliant green covered the floor.Yet nothing came from the bamboo seed.But I did not quit on the bamboo.In the second year the Fern grew more vibrant and plentiful.And again, nothing came from the bamboo seed.But I did not quit on the bamboo. He said.'In the third year, there was still nothing from the bamboo seed. ButI would not quit. In the fourth year, again, there was nothing fromThe bamboo seed. 'I would not quit.' He said. 'Then in the fifth yearA tiny sprout emerged from the earth.Compared to the fern it was seemingly small and insignificant... ButJust 6 months later the bamboo rose to over 100 feet tall.It had spent the five years growing roots.Those roots made it strong and gave it what it needed to survive. IWould not give any of my creations a challenge it could not handle.'He said to me.
'Did you know, my child, that all this time you haveBeen struggling, you have actually been growing roots.''I would not quit on the bamboo. I will never quit on you. ' Don'tCompare yourself to others ..' He said.
' The bamboo had a differentPurpose than the fern ... Yet, they both make the forest beautiful.' Your time will come, ' God said to me. ' You will rise high! ' HowHigh should I rise?' I asked.How high will the bamboo rise?' He asked in return.'As high as it can? ' I questioned.' Yes. ' He said, 'Give me glory by rising as high as you can. '
I left the forest and bring back this story.I hope these words can help you see that God will never give up on you.He will never give up on you.Never regret a day in your life.Good days give you happinessBad days give you experiences;Both are essential to life.A happy and meaningful life requires our continuous input andCreativity. It does not happen by chance. It happens because of our Choices and actions. And each day we are given new opportunities to Choose and act and, in doing so, we create our own unique journey.'
Keep going...Happiness keeps you Sweet, Trials keep you Strong,Sorrows keep you Human, Failures keep you humble,Success keeps You Glowing

I have Learnt...

Oh no.. its not that we can only have expereince after years of exposure to the world.. its always that one fall is necessary for you to rise yourself.. one betray is must to know the value of trust.. one faliure is must to know the value of success.. every body i mean it everybody commit mistakes.. but only few people learn from them.. and fewer have the courae to accept that they have done so...
it is very easy to lie to some one.. but it is very difficult to be true to everyone u meet.. this was a great experience for me.. i learned to trust people and then i learned that everone is not going to keep that.. everybody is not what they show.. looks can be deceptive.. i learned to make freinds.. and then i learned that they are not there to be forever.. infact you make frnz only in ur childhood.. then is the only time when u are connected through you heart not your mind..
i also learned to help every individual in trouble.. and i also learnt that you should not expect the same from them.. cause when its you whos in pain then they never have time and always have excuses..
then i learned to shine.. but i also learned that only after you reach the top.. u start coming down.. people only salute the rising sun.. no body will ever be happy with sunset.. its only a beauty for those who have gone thru it in there lives..
i learnt to burn my hands.. but i also learned that it is the only way to recognize danger.. nothing comes without a cost..
and here i am now.. learning to be myself again.. because i have learnt that people always encourage to leave your path.. but when its the time to get back.. you can not find your path and neither those supporter who have led you from it..
so i am being myself again.. ALL ON MY OWN.. i have learnt all this thourh good and bad experiences of my life in past 2 years...
but hey.. more is to come from me.. its only that the time is not allwoing me to write further.

Me...

Well.. this is my first post at my blog.. i thot i wud start by introducing myself.. i am one person who has been living on the mantra of positivity in my life.. i belive in fighting for existence.. i have a very loving family.. my dad & mom.. my masi & chacha, Shainky, Tanu and my pet Panther (Though dis is only an official name for him.. we keep calling him in different names altogether.. hehehehe)..
my family has made the base of my life.. the most important bond that i have learnt in life is that of love and trust.. no matter in whatever circumstances you are.. u can sail through them if there is one hand of support..one ray of hope.. and that comes from no where but people who actually care for you..
like every individual, i have also suffered losses but if i know how to overcome that and how to survive with that that is just becuase of the support that these guys have ever given me.. my family in my strenght and ironically my weakness too..
through this blog i will share many feelings, thoughts about various experiences that i have encountered in my life.. more to come.. chao